My future, I haven’t any idea what I want to do
with myself, what I find myself to be good at is writing, and taking photos, but neither of those things make
very much money, which saddens me. I’m not even certain I’m good at either of the listed, but they are things
I greatly enjoy doing. I am not a people person, I shy away from others.. Maybe that’s why I don’t have many friends.
My conclusion with why not many humans here speak to me is, that I am so shy, I look so awkward, I am too skinny and small,
I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never actually been a social butterfly, I’ve never really socialized, especially
not in a school as big as the one I am attending now.
Every night, before I lay my head to rest, I always attempt to write something long and sweet for that special someone. The wording never comes out right, nothing can describe how I feel, or think.. No matter the amount of words, no matter the amount of actions, no matter the amount of time, nothing could ever truly show how I feel for him. He doesn’t even know how much I love him, he doubts that I do all the time.. He is my world, my boyfriend, my lover, and my best friend. He means everything to me, more than he could ever imagine. Whenever I try to describe any of it to him, nothing comes out, my mind goes blank. It’s just an impossible task, to describe how someone makes you feel. Love is just one of those things, that you’re never able to describe, not in words. Rarely by actions.
Is it bad to never actually dream? I mean yes, there is that occasional one, but it’s never truly a dream. Only a dark dreary nightmare, that you can faintly remember once you awaken.